Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
