Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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