return my video game
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
do herpes really smell.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
