So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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