dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
