I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
