I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
