one might say we're banned from that church
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
