shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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