We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
