my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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