i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sorry about my life...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
