Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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