I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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