We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
