I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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