OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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