Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
