i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
