why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
only if we run a train.
done.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
