Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize