I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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