OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
