he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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