i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
