You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
