Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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