Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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