Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
