TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
