are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
