So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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