Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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