so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
