Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
