I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
