I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
