I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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