It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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