it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
