Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
