how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
