FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We had to coat check the pizza.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
