I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize