Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
