i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
