What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
