how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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