piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
