he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
