I hate your face
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
