I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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