My friends, they love my intelligence
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
