We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
