Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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