Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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