I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
