Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
