It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
