Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My liver just had a heart attack.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
