all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
