So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Shame is for Republicans.
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