Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
