if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
