You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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