I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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