I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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