Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
