i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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