tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
