the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
