Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
