Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
