my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
